Can't sleep. Spina bifida does that sometimes! On Tuesday Davey will have surgery at Shriners Hospital. Some call the surgery a bilateral tibial rotational osteotomy. I refer to it as fixing the feet forward. Here's how he walks now. See how he trips on his feet because they turn inward. That's a result of being born with clubbed feet. Hopefully in two months after his casts have been removed, his feet will face forward. This is Davey's 8th surgery (I think). It's difficult to know how he processes the thoughts of surgery. He is most excited to have a slumber party with his dad at the hospital, and for his Papa from Texas to come and sword fight with him. It's been a long time since Matt and I had one of our kiddos in an operating room...over a year. I've appreciated the break and pray the doctors will have skill, wisdom, compassion and clarity as they care for my little boy.
My heart is really heavy concerning Maggie. Spina bifida does that sometimes! She is 18 months now which in our religion is a big deal. It's the magical month when a parent can drop their lovely child off at the happiest place on earth (not exactly)...nursery. Our church lasts three hours each Sunday. First, Sacrament Meeting when everyone attends, including children. Then the adults and children part ways, and I go to Sunday School to study the Old Testament this year. The final hour is my favorite, Relief Society. Since Matt is the Bishop of our congregation, I rarely see him at church except when he's sitting on the stand which means he's not much help with Maggie. That's why nursery is a countdown for me and many other parents. But we've decided to keep Maggie out of nursery for now, and here's where my heart hurts. She's just so dang delayed! It's more than physical. Cognitively she has significant struggles. We cannot see the inner-mapping and processes of her brain, but we suspect most of her delays come from her teeny tiny cerebellum. Last Sunday, I peeked through the window of the nursery class and watched a room of singers, players, clappers, sharers, listeners, runners and overall engaged children. I'm reminded that the purpose of nursery is not babysitting, and Maggie isn't in a place to understand the significance of nursery. So for now, Maggie and I will continue to feed each other Cheerios and throw toys on the ground while we try to learn the gospel.
Furthermore, I miss Christmas! There's no place like home. Food, BB guns, music, decorations, dodge ball, late night talks, best friends, family, and the nativity. Here are some snapshots.
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ReplyDeleteYou are a rockstar Millie and my heart hurts with you for Maggie. She is blessed to have you as her mother!
ReplyDeleteLove and miss you Millie. Thanks for the update on your beautiful family. You all are in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteOh Mil, not being able to sleep because of such things weighing heavily on your mind is just the pits. We are praying that all goes well with Davey's surgery this week. Sweet Maggie lights up my day each time I see her. She will get there someday, but in the meantime you had better plan on sharing her with me in Relief Society! Big hugs to you.
ReplyDeletewe'll be praying for y'all this week. Surgery is a wonderful blessing, but so rough to go through...I can only imagine it's harder when your kiddo actually knows what is going on and how OFF things are after! And we'll pray for you and your Maggie (because Sunday doesn't need any more challenges than it already has!).
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! Today I took Evan to nursery for a little while. (Our nursery only has 4-5 kids so they let kiddos go early if you stay with them). Anyway, I realized, as they're playing ring-around-the-rosy and doing puzzles, that Evan is just not there yet. I think a lot about what we're going to do in 3 months. He'll either need someone called as his personal helper or I'll stay with him. I hadn't thought about keeping him with me but that might be a good idea too. I'm glad you're here to show us the way!
ReplyDeletePapa is wrapping a towel around his neck and quips: "Here I come to save the day!" Can't wait for that sword fight....and more.
ReplyDeleteDearest Millie- We hope the surgery goes well on Tuesday. Wow, a year break. I can't even imagine what that would be like, to think of a year as "a break." You guys are so amazing.
ReplyDeleteIf I may- give you a different perspective from someone who is loving her service in primary. Part of the nursery is also to give people the opportunity to serve. Obviously you have to do what feels right, but don't forget that Maggie is a blessing to everyone around her. I believe that even nursery age children can begin to grow from serving others. We've had a little boy in our nursery with hydro syphilis who just moved up to Sunbeams. His mom was worried about moving him and wanted to keep him in nursery longer, but it has been such a blessing to have him in sunbeams. He brings all around him such joy--even the other boys in his class who help him. I'm just saying that there could be unforeseen blessings that come to both the nursery workers and the nursery children as they interact with Maggie. It might be helpful to call another worker in or something, but there could be other possibilities there. Just a thought.
Love you!
Millie, thanks for sharing. In your words and pictures I can still see the unbelievably bright countenance that you've always had. Your family and the people around you are so blessed to have you. Im so sorry for these tough times. The good thing is that the tough time sure do draw us closer to our Savior. I love you and think you are amazing. Your little ones wil be in our prayers
ReplyDeleteI love and miss you Millie! Thank you for your courage, it strengthens me, love to you and your family! XOXO
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